University’s co-eds to
blame for Hoosiers’ football woes
By
Larry Houchen, THG Sports
Every February, struggling football schools around the country sign a new class
of recruits with the hope that they will be the ones to turn the program around
and bring respect back to the university’s athletic department.
It is unlikely that the Indiana Hoosiers, who haven’t had a winning season in a
coon’s age, will be able to end their bowl drought with this year’s recruits.
CollegeFootballNews.com ranked IU’s recruiting class 10th in the Big Ten, with
only Northwestern putting together a weaker group of prospective players. Sure,
Indiana got a few really solid players, but they did not get the quality
athletes needed to compete with the likes of Michigan, Ohio State, and
Wisconsin.
Who or what is to blame for the Hoosiers’ football woes in recent years?
It isn’t the coaching staff. Coach DiNardo has been able to recruit quality
players and get more wins than the previous coach everywhere he has been, even
Vanderbilt.
You can’t blame the facilities or academic standards either. Indiana has a
decent enough stadium and football facilities to draw good recruits and has
stringent requirements for prospects wanting to play football, but they are no
tougher than any other school in the conference, except maybe Ohio State.
The real reason IU has had a hard time getting top-notch recruits to come to
Bloomington is poor quality of the co-eds that are enrolled. Indiana has the
ugliest and fattest girls of any large university in the country.
When prospects come to campus to check out the Hoosiers, they see
raggedy-looking chain-smoking females with loose morals that look like they
haven’t had a bath in several days. Many look like they never heard of
cosmetics, and finding one that is not wearing sweatpants is like trying to find
a needle in a haystack. Most of the upper classmen are overweight from drinking
too much beer and eating Taco Bell after an evening of taking hits from the
bong.
If you were one of the best high school football players in the country and
could choose any school you wanted, would you choose IU? The girls there would
give even the horniest 18 year-old erectile dysfunction.
For IU to compete with other schools, they are going to have to work on getting
some girls on campus that are actually attractive. Even if they have to do like
the University of Colorado and hire strippers and escorts to entertain recruits
on their official visits, that would be better than getting two wins a year and
being a perennial joke in football circles.
