If you are morbidly
obese or just plain fat and are planning on taking a trip anytime soon, there
are certain obstacles you will face that the average-sized individual will not
have to consider. My goal in this article is to share my own personal travel
experiences with you so that your vacation will be as problem-free and enjoyable
as possible.
Flying tip #1:
ALWAYS choose a travel companion who is diminutive in stature. This will make
your flight much more comfortable because this allows room for some of your
girth to spill into your neighbor’s seat. A few years ago I made the mistake of
flying to Las Vegas with a friend who was similar in size to myself (300+
pounds) and I was plastered against the window for four hours! Talk about pure
misery. That trip taught me valuable lessons and since then I have never
traveled with anyone over 130 pounds.
Flying tip #2:
Wear pants with no pockets. On the same trip to Las Vegas, my first as a true
lard ass (I did not become grossly overweight until my early twenties), I made
the mistake of wearing slacks with pockets. What is the problem with that? I
could barely fit between the armrests of my seat, and every time I sat down, my
pockets would catch on the armrests. Needless to say, my slacks ripped, and I
ruined a $30 pair of pants.
Now when I fly, I wear
sweat pants or nylon running shorts that allow me to get in and out of my seat
easily. It may not look pretty, but it will save me a fortune in clothing costs
in the long run.
Flying tip #3:
Do whatever you have to do to get moved up to business or first class, where the
seats are more spacious. My wife and I were mistakenly seated in separate parts
of the plane on the trip home from our honeymoon in Ireland. When I told the
clerk working at the airline’s desk about the mix-up, they bumped us up from
coach to business class free of charge! Now whenever I fly, I use any excuse
possible to get one of those precious wide seats in the front of the plane.
Tell the airline you are on your honeymoon, you hurt your leg and need to keep
it straightened, or that you are claustrophobic and had a seizure on the last
flight—anything you can think of that could possibly get you moved. If you can
afford it, just save yourself the trouble and pay for the seat.
Flying tip #4:
Eat until you are stuffed prior to a long flight. I recently flew on a
cross-country flight from Atlanta to Las Vegas. I did not eat lunch in the
airport, thinking that a complimentary meal would be served on the plane. There
was a meal served, but the airline charged exorbitant prices for what consisted
of a little meat and some vegetables. Not wanting to waste my money on such an
unsatisfying snack, I waited until arriving in Vegas before eating. It was the
longest three and a half hours of my life! By the time we landed, I was so
light-headed I could hardly concentrate. You better believe I hit the McCarran
International Airport Burger King before getting on the flight home!
With these experiences
in mind, save yourself a huge amount of agony; follow these guidelines and make
your next air excursion much more pleasant for yourself as a plus-sized
traveler.
