5 Pound Hamburger Challenge proves too much for Hoosier
Gazette staff
By Steve
Redman, THG Features
Three
members of the HoosierGazette.com staff decided to test their physical and
mental endurance in
Indianapolis Saturday by
attempting to become the first to finish the J.R. Hohlier’s Sports Pub’s Five
Pound Hamburger Challenge in front of several hundred of the newspaper’s fans.
Editor Josh
Whicker, Webmaster Chris Kasinger, and writer John Andrews met at 4 pm March 13
to undertake one of the toughest competitive eating challenges in the United
States: eat Hohlier’s five pound hamburger (dressed with lettuce and tomatoes)
in 30 minutes without leaving the table. Anyone who finishes the challenge gets
their picture in the Hohlier’s Hall of Fame and $100.
While
waiting for their burgers to be prepared, the THG staff got to see first hand
what they were up against. A Greenwood High School student was already eating
the Five Pounder when they arrived, and was having little success. The burger
and bun were so huge that after 30 minutes of continuous eating, only half the
meat was gone and the entire bun remained. When Gina, the manager of Hohlier’s,
called for time, the teenager hacked up a mouthful of chewed beef.
Josh, Chris, and John from HoosierGazette.com with Hohlier Challenge emcee
Donnie Green (second from left)
Undaunted by
the Greenwood lad’s struggles, Whicker, Kasinger, and Andrews accepted the
challenge. After a half-hour wait (the time it takes to prepare such a large
quantity of meat), the stage was set for one of the most colossal eating
exhibitions the state has ever seen. As soon as the event’s emcee, Donnie
Green, started the timer, all three contestants attacked their burgers like a
pack of ravenous wolves.
Little did Whicker & Kasinger know what
they were getting into.
It was
immediately evident why bookmakers had the 6’ 3”, 350 lb Whicker as a 2-1 shot
to finish the Five Pounder prior to the competition. His only game plan was to
inflict “complete and total eating destruction” on the burger and his
competition. Within eight minutes, Whicker had eaten the whole top portion of
the bun, which was the size of a medium pizza.
Kasinger and
Andrews used very different eating methods when taking on the Hohlier’s
Challenge. Kasinger employed a cave-man like strategy, using his hands instead
of utensils and gulping water as if he were drinking from a trough. Andrews was
the epitome of class, using his fork and knife as precision instruments as he
carefully but quickly devoured the pile of steaming meat. “There is no
substitute for good manners, regardless of activity or venue,” stated Andrews.
After 15
minutes, it became apparent to Kasinger that there was no way in hell he was
going to complete the challenge with well over half of the hamburger still on
his plate and a stomach that already felt stretched to its limits. Instead of
making himself more miserable, he dropped out of the competition and went to the
bar to smoke a cigarette. Andrews followed suit soon after, happy to finish in
second place over his rival Kasinger, who has a 70 pound weight advantage. “I
was very surprised to beat Chris. He is a great competitor who just had a bad
day. I feel very lucky to place where I did today.”
With 10
minutes left in the challenge, the crowd became excited as Whicker continued to
keep up an incredible pace and looked as if he would be the first winner of the
Hohlier’s Challenge. Then with three minutes left, the Hoosier Gazette editor
hit the wall. With less than a pound of beef and part of the bun remaining,
Whicker threw in the towel. “If I would have eaten another bite, I would have
exploded,” said Whicker.
Despite his
sadness of not winning the $100, which would have been used to help send his
Godparents’ daughter to Germany on a choir trip, Whicker could still find solace
in knowing he came closer to finishing the Five Pounder than anyone in the
five-week history of the event. “I am disappointed, but it was fun to get out
and meet some of our fans,” said Whicker.
Loyal HoosierGazette.com fans Shane &
Emily
When asked
if he would try the Hohlier Challenge again, the 29 year-old Whicker gave a
definitive “No way, Jose!” He plans on retiring from competitive eating to
concentrate on writing screenplays.
