Unless you have been
living in a cave the past couple of days, you have seen the footage from the
fight that broke out with 45 seconds left in the Indiana Pacers/Detroit Pistons
game Friday night; the scuffle between Ben Wallace and Ron Artest followed by
fans getting into the action by throwing cups, popcorn, chairs, and even punches
at Pacers players trying to protect themselves.
Despite all of the
negative publicity for the NBA and both teams involved, indefinite suspensions,
and the numerous lawsuits that will tie up courtrooms for years to come, some
good has come from the melee.
This event has taught
sports fans a valuable lesson: if you are a fat, nacho-eating slob whose idea of
exercise is getting off your lazy ass to get another beer out of the fridge, you
have no business attempting to fight an elite athlete twice your size who lifts
weights, runs, and jumps for a living.
For many sports fans,
buying a ticket to the game is the equivalent to buying a license to be an
obnoxious jerk for three hours. These are average nine-to-fivers during the day
who become drunken, screaming lunatics once the game tips off.
Being a sports fan my
entire life, I have had a great game ruined by these idiots many a time. That
is why I was overjoyed when I watched the replays of the Pacers/Pistons incident
on Sportscenter Friday night and again Saturday morning.
The look on the scrawny,
spectacled white guy’s face when Artest went after him for throwing the cup of
ice was priceless; you can bet he had to go to Wal-Mart and get some new Fruit
of the Looms the next day.
Best of all was what
happened to one of the Pistons’ fans that came down onto the court to fight.
The slob got what was coming to him: the business end of seven-foot tall
Jermaine O’Neal’s fist.
When I saw O’Neal connect
with the side of that guy’s head, my immediate reaction was “DAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!”
followed by uncontrollable laughter. I could just imagine the headache that
moron had the next morning.
Kudos to the Pacers for
teaching fans worldwide a lesson; if you are going to jump into the lions’ den,
you’d better be prepared for the consequences.
