Midwestern moms could learn a lot from their Icelandic counterparts
By Josh
Whicker
January 16, 2005
I
became intrigued with Iceland several years ago when I came across an article
that said Icelanders are the happiest people on Earth despite cold, windy
winters where the daylight only lasts a few hours and where earthquakes, floods,
and volcanoes are frequent in many parts of the country .
Like most
Americans, I didn’t know much about Iceland other than it being the homeland of
pop singer Björk and that an Icelander named Magnus ver Magnusson was always
winning the World’s Strongest Man replays shown regularly on ESPN 2.
So I did
what any good student would do (I was an undergrad at the time)—
I picked up
a few books about the country and started reading about its history and
culture. I also started searching for information about this island of
approximately 300,000 inhabitants on the web.
The more I
learned about Iceland,
the more I wanted to visit. The books I read painted pictures of a land of
geysers, lava fields, and mountains settled by hearty Scandinavians and Celts
over a thousand years ago.
This year I
was finally able to scrape together the funds for a trip the week after
Christmas. This is one of the best times to visit the capital; they have one of
the greatest New Years Eve celebrations in the world with all of Reykjavik
erupting in fireworks followed by legions of partiers heading downtown to
continue the revelry.
Two
Icelanders I met on the web showed me around Reykjavik and the surrounding
area. Kristján Steinarsson took me around the capital to the museums and
important historical and cultural sites and to meet many of his friends and
family members so I could get an idea what makes Icelanders tick. Jóhann Karl Lúðvíksson took me out in the
country in his 4X4 to see the famous attractions of Geysir, Gelfoss, and
Thingveillir.
Iceland’s
greatness far exceeded my expectations. I was impressed with many aspects of
the country that I had read about over the years; the friendly people, low crime
rate, unspoiled countryside, pure food, and clean air are just a few.
But the most impressive
thing I observed in Iceland was something you do not read about in books or on
web sites; Icelandic moms.
Everyone that
Kristján and I visited throughout the week had a
good-looking wife. This is not surprising, considering Icelandic women are
renowned for their beauty; despite being such a small country, two Icelanders
have won the Miss World competition.
What was
surprising, especially to someone like me from the Midwest, is how beautiful and
fit all these wives were despite the fact that they are all at least 30 years
old and all had multiple children. This made me look at the women back home in
a different light.
Until
visiting Iceland, I assumed that it is inevitable that women’s looks deteriorate
rapidly once they become married and squirt out a couple of kids. It is like
there is a handbook for Midwestern women on how to make this transition:
Step 1:
Trick some poor bastard into marrying you.
Step 2:
Get pregnant as soon as possible so he will be less likely to leave you—child
support is very expensive.
Step 3:
Gain 80 pounds during the pregnancy—remember you are eating for two!
Step 4:
Once the child is born, chop off most of your hair. You have a child now—no
time to look sexy. And don’t worry about losing the weight; your hubby is stuck
with you forever!
Step 5:
Start wearing tacky clothes. You are married now—comfort is more important than
fashion. Buy a holiday-themed sweater for every occasion.
Sure, I
admit there are some Midwestern women that still keep their looks up after
getting married and having kids but they are few and far between.
This is not
the case in Iceland.
Women there actually take pride in their appearance, whether they are mothers or
not. For starters, they don’t balloon into the size of an NFL offensive lineman
when they are pregnant, and what weight they do gain, they try to take off after
the baby is born. They also continue wearing fashionable clothing and keep
their hair looking great—even if it takes a bit more effort.
This visit
made me feel better about my wife having children—something that I have been
trying to put off for obvious reasons. Perhaps I can convince her that she
doesn’t have to succumb to the same fate as most other moms in the Midwest.
To our male
Midwestern readers: do not show this article to your wife or you will never be
allowed to visit HoosierGazette.com again.
